Again I'm referring to the sociopath/psychopath as pathetic wretch (pw for short). I am using "it", rather than "s/he" where appropriate.
I've concluded from my experience that there are three types of victims or targets
I've concluded from my experience that there are three types of victims or targets
- The main victim/target
- The resource victim/target
- The incidental victim/target
There are probably more than one of each type of target at any given time.
The Main Victim:
The main victim or target is someone who is or has everything the pw wants or wish it was. The main victim/target is likely to be highly empathetic, creative, original, intelligent, attractive, and probably well off and or has whatever else the the sociopath wishes it had. If you are a main target, you probably didn't even realize how awesome you are! The pw will try to destroy the life of the main target or wreck continual havoc. It may never let up on this type of victim/target.
The Resource Victim:
The main victim or target is someone who is or has everything the pw wants or wish it was. The main victim/target is likely to be highly empathetic, creative, original, intelligent, attractive, and probably well off and or has whatever else the the sociopath wishes it had. If you are a main target, you probably didn't even realize how awesome you are! The pw will try to destroy the life of the main target or wreck continual havoc. It may never let up on this type of victim/target.
The Resource Victim:
The resource victim/target either has talents, resources or access to resources that the pw needs to carry out it's destruction of others. The pw may use the resource victim including for information or phyical resources without s/he being aware of it. The resource victim is likely to undergo the least damage since the pw needs this target.
The Incidental Victim:
The Incidental Victim:
The incidental victim/target is one that angers or slights the pw either once or occasionally. The pw will exact revenge but it is probably not ongoing in nature nor perhaps as frequent nor as damaging as for the main victim.
The pw does not choose targets/victims for their weaknesses but rather for their strengths. It would prefer to think its victims are weak but knows the real reason it chose them is because of their strengths which it would like to have for itself. The pw wishes it could be like you and has probably has spent a good deal of time studying your behavior and trying to copy it. In short, it is trying to be you.
If you have been a victim for years, it's not your fault. Being a kind, caring person who is open minded enough to give the benefit of doubt (which you probably did many times over until you no longer could) are all wonderful traits. It bears repeating that the pw wishes it could be like you and has probably has spent a good deal of time studying your behavior and trying to copy it.
It is doubtful that the pw realized on it's own how amazing you are. It lacks this capacity. Someone must have said nice things about you behind your back. If it ever asked your opinion on who you admire around you, I hate to tell you, it's probably a safe bet the person you named is another target/victim. This is not your fault. The pw will blame you for going after those you named, but that makes it your puppet controlled by you - and that ironically puts you in control of the pw, does it not?
Appreciate how incredible you are for someone to want to wreck your life and try to become you. Don't let the pw be the only one to appreciate this fact.
It is doubtful that the pw realized on it's own how amazing you are. It lacks this capacity. Someone must have said nice things about you behind your back. If it ever asked your opinion on who you admire around you, I hate to tell you, it's probably a safe bet the person you named is another target/victim. This is not your fault. The pw will blame you for going after those you named, but that makes it your puppet controlled by you - and that ironically puts you in control of the pw, does it not?
Appreciate how incredible you are for someone to want to wreck your life and try to become you. Don't let the pw be the only one to appreciate this fact.
The advantage to having stayed in the relationship as long as you have is that you now know a lot about the pw, its methods, possibly what else it has done and to whom. There are likely others also being affected by the pw that are unaware of what is happening to them or if they are aware do not know who is doing it to them or how it's happening. These people likely realized more quickly the nature of the pw and said something to slight them or kept their distance. Yet sadly, this did not guarantee their safety. Such was the case with other targets of the pw I know.
You have gained several advantages from having stayed in the relationship as long as you have. You know what was done and you know who did it and maybe even how. Knowing who and what are very important aspects to the process of correcting the situation. Knowing how is golden. The chances are high that if you had not befriended the pw, it would still be attempting to wreck your life but in that case, you wouldn't know who was doing it and you wouldn't have the clues you have obtained so far.
There is a saying that love is the greatest gift of all. I believe what's meant by this is that receiving love is the greatest gift. But I've come to the conclusion that the ability to love is the greatest gift of all. It is what makes the world a better place. Those who have selflessly given for others have made this world a better place. The ability to love comes from empathy. I don't understand why the universe would bestow this gift on so many and withhold it from the few. I wish everyone was given the gift of empathy, and I feel sincerely sorry for those from whom it was withheld.
You have gained several advantages from having stayed in the relationship as long as you have. You know what was done and you know who did it and maybe even how. Knowing who and what are very important aspects to the process of correcting the situation. Knowing how is golden. The chances are high that if you had not befriended the pw, it would still be attempting to wreck your life but in that case, you wouldn't know who was doing it and you wouldn't have the clues you have obtained so far.
There is a saying that love is the greatest gift of all. I believe what's meant by this is that receiving love is the greatest gift. But I've come to the conclusion that the ability to love is the greatest gift of all. It is what makes the world a better place. Those who have selflessly given for others have made this world a better place. The ability to love comes from empathy. I don't understand why the universe would bestow this gift on so many and withhold it from the few. I wish everyone was given the gift of empathy, and I feel sincerely sorry for those from whom it was withheld.
